Such an interesting + honest read, Anna. Love how you frame that disconnect, v insightful. I've been thinking a bit about this too lately, and honestly I can't help wondering if there could be something really quite confronting/deep-seated going on with this. So, I guess: what we actually spend our lives doing vs what we think we SHOULD BE spending our time doing? I think maybe there's some idealism/comparison/FOMO, shame, even, perhaps sitting behind the (for me at least) slightly delulu or unrealistic shopping choices I sometimes make...based on what, maybe if I'm truly honest, I *thought* I'd be doing in my life by now...or who I am right now vs who I *used* to be...or my perception of how ppl-who-def-have-their-shit-together present themselves in my feeds. Either way, I think your solutions are tight...know thyself, know thy life, shop accordingly. :)
Beth - THIS COMMENT! Thank you so much for getting the ol' cogs turning. I very much resonate with the whole 'who I *used* to be' thing. That got me and 100% is food for thought. Love your Substack so was so excited to see your comment here xx
Ha thanks! Well I love yours too, so how lovely. Glad to get you thinking. (it's a karma return for that choc cookie recipe you posted c.100 years ago. I've made so often I have it memorised...you can imagine how deeply I respected your analytical research process). x
I agree with you Beth!! I think the fact that we can see so many versions of life on social media really drives us to purchases that aren’t realistic for ourselves! I believe there is a subconscious “if I buy this thing then maybe my life can look like this certain influencers life”
This is such a great read & strategy towards building an authentic wardrobe. I also work from home and find most of my buys feel very.... aspirational... and more in line with my time living in New York than my life now working from home in the country. I would LOVE if you gave us some work from home inspiration, I tend to find my WFH outfits feel sloppy and pajama like rather than comfortable but slightly elevated from a sweatsuit.
I love this Anna - however! I like the 80/20 rule, where 80% of your wardrobe is everyday workwear, useful stuff. And then 20% of your wardrobe is personality wear. For those moments when you want to dress up and be fabulous. They may not come very often (and maybe 20% of the time is a stretch) but I love knowing they are there and I can be that fabulous person wherever I choose. Fashion is not just about usefulness. Its also about fantasy too!
You're so right - we need to have some fun too and something I often forget!! But it turns out my recent purchase of a zebra print belt was very much needed! x
I love this article, Anna! I find myself purchasing items for a fantasy life ALL THE TIME.
"Oh I'm going on vacation to Hawaii for a week? Better buy 7 chic linen looks or slinky dresses when I know I'm probably just going to be wearing shorts and a tshirt the whole time and maybe 1 dress".
I think it's because our dreams are addictive and it feels NICE to imagine ourselves as the best sun-tanned versions of ourselves possible. My "shorts and a tshirt" reality can feel sad, but I'm starting to reframe my mental conversation around it. Instead of feeling sad that I probably won't want to wear silk dresses every night, I'm saying - what will I actually wear and what is the best version of that I can find? So if it's going to be shorts, a few tshirts, and a dress - what is the best version of those that will fit my actual REAL lifestyle?
I also find that it's hard to sell things you bought for your fantasy life that were expensive. I recently shared a post about how I sold the dreamiest wool coat from Theory because I just never wore it (linked here: https://costperfit.substack.com/p/cost-per-fit-wardrobe-learnings). It felt bad to "lose" money on something but I've learned my lesson and hopefully I can make better decisions from now on.
Oh my gosh THIS!! 'What will I actually wear and what is the best version of that I can find?' - that's the secret sauce right there that makes us feel our best. Thanks for commenting - so glad I've just found your Substack! x
Very rarely comment on articles but I really like this, I’ve been a fashion “lover” for as long as I can remember I’ve been buying vogue, Elle etc since my early teens but there was always the feeling there that while you may take the odd idea or buy something you’ve seen I was an outside observing these ever changing trends and that was fine. I think with the rise of influencers etc people feel the need to constantly be buying new things, being different (but still being very on trend etc) it means I personally look at my wardrobe and think it’s never good enough when in reality I spend a lot of time working from home, with my young kids and 99% of what I see and then buy sits there hardly worn. I’ve been really mindful of this recently and I think actually looking at the data and understanding what I should be buying based on my actual life is 100% the way to look at things. I think the second part is also looking at what you feel best in. A lot of the time what looks great on someone else just doesn’t work for my body shape and then I feel bad about that too. I think there is a lot to be said about the influencer culture we have now and I think it’s great you’re asking these provocative questions. It’s one of the reasons I will happily pay for your content.
I have a serious obsession with pants and when trying to decide whether to purchase, picture myself wearing them out to dinner. I do in fact wear the pants I've collected over the years but nobody sees them! They're always under a table and the same, obviously, can be said for shoes. So how many pairs of "dinner pants" does one girl need? If I were constantly going to parties and standing around, I might be able to justify these purchases, but this is decidedly not the case.
Also does anyone have any recommendations for what I can wear at home (when WFH) to be comfy but not lazy? I’ve seen the arket sweatpants set but can’t get it here in Canada! I’m curvy and find it so hard to find something that doesn’t dig in to my stomach 😂
I recommend buying pants that hit where your waist is smallest and only buy elastic waist pants (not leggings because of potential compression). My actual middle waist is smallest so I try to find high-waisted soft joggers from Aritzia or Lululemon.
BIG YES. One of my recent ahas. I love buying really interesting designer-driven pieces. And so buying "basics" has always been like a chore that I sort of just get through as cheaply has possible. What I realized, though, is that I'm in "basics" 99.5 percent of the time with a teeny seasoning of those wild wows. So I want to love the basics! Now I've shifted this completely. I'm investing in high utility pieces I love and will wear and rewear. Things like a secondhand Loro Piana cashmere crewneck. Not the shiny objects - literally or figuratively.
Anna, I loved your point about the disconnect that can happen between the mood board and real life. I’ll look at my Pinterest summer outfits board, for example, and love it but also they’re basically the wardrobe of a person summering on the Amalfi coast, which sadly, isn’t me! I think there’s something emotional going on here too: there’s something about the fantasy life that does call to us and buying the article of clothing feels like a way to access what we’re yearning for. The emotional part makes it hard to resist!
Such a timely read for me - thank you!! I’ve just started reading Alison’s ‘Wear It Well’, which has been very helpful for me beginning to overhaul my wardrobe. I work on a farm and live in a small country town yet about 50% of my wardrobe is dressy, formal clothing… that I realistically only get a chance to wear maybe 10% of the time, if that. Completely agree that we often buy for the life we wish we had.. not necessarily the one we’re currently living. But I think this can also be encouraging in some ways in inspiring us to find what feels most authentic to us. And the more we embody that through our clothing the more it can often become a reality. Great read x
This a very timely read, I realised I do this a lot, buying things for a life I don’t really lead. Mostly going out nice tops when I rarely go out (and I don’t even want to go out much 😂). I’m trying to challenge myself to wear these items in an every day way now and be much more mindful if I do get tempted by a ‘going out’ top that they have to have a dress way down ability too.
It's so true, I think I've maxed out on work clothes (academic so nothing formal), with the exception of the ever elusive cropped black jumper to work with higher waisted skirts and trousers. I'm in work or in work related meetings 2x a week max, so probably only need 4-5 work outfits. But when I'm WFH, I need clothes that are comfortable for sitting at my desk AND cycling, which really means leggings, soft pants, etc.
Shoes are my nemesis. My one pair of smart winter shoes are in for repair and I'm afraid Timpsons has lost/damaged them. I've been doing a not very elegant switcheroo in front of buildings/in lobbies from my duck boots to a pair of ballet flats.
Oh I feel you on the winter shoes! The cobbler has one of my favourite pairs at the moment and I'm feeling lost without them. Fingers crossed your ones aren't lost! x
what is this tan long shirt jacket thing in the first image? I love it!! this was something I realized about myself - I really only wear black and if i’m on a beach vacation maybeee throw in a little color but I always gravitated towards black so just decided I was only allowed to buy black besides a couple of sporadic vacation items - I love it!
Such an interesting + honest read, Anna. Love how you frame that disconnect, v insightful. I've been thinking a bit about this too lately, and honestly I can't help wondering if there could be something really quite confronting/deep-seated going on with this. So, I guess: what we actually spend our lives doing vs what we think we SHOULD BE spending our time doing? I think maybe there's some idealism/comparison/FOMO, shame, even, perhaps sitting behind the (for me at least) slightly delulu or unrealistic shopping choices I sometimes make...based on what, maybe if I'm truly honest, I *thought* I'd be doing in my life by now...or who I am right now vs who I *used* to be...or my perception of how ppl-who-def-have-their-shit-together present themselves in my feeds. Either way, I think your solutions are tight...know thyself, know thy life, shop accordingly. :)
Beth - THIS COMMENT! Thank you so much for getting the ol' cogs turning. I very much resonate with the whole 'who I *used* to be' thing. That got me and 100% is food for thought. Love your Substack so was so excited to see your comment here xx
Ha thanks! Well I love yours too, so how lovely. Glad to get you thinking. (it's a karma return for that choc cookie recipe you posted c.100 years ago. I've made so often I have it memorised...you can imagine how deeply I respected your analytical research process). x
I agree with you Beth!! I think the fact that we can see so many versions of life on social media really drives us to purchases that aren’t realistic for ourselves! I believe there is a subconscious “if I buy this thing then maybe my life can look like this certain influencers life”
This is such a great read & strategy towards building an authentic wardrobe. I also work from home and find most of my buys feel very.... aspirational... and more in line with my time living in New York than my life now working from home in the country. I would LOVE if you gave us some work from home inspiration, I tend to find my WFH outfits feel sloppy and pajama like rather than comfortable but slightly elevated from a sweatsuit.
Yes Rachel - I'll do a post for you!! Have added it to the list now! x
I would really love this too!!!! (Thanks in advance ) ;-) x
Thank you so much!
I love this Anna - however! I like the 80/20 rule, where 80% of your wardrobe is everyday workwear, useful stuff. And then 20% of your wardrobe is personality wear. For those moments when you want to dress up and be fabulous. They may not come very often (and maybe 20% of the time is a stretch) but I love knowing they are there and I can be that fabulous person wherever I choose. Fashion is not just about usefulness. Its also about fantasy too!
You're so right - we need to have some fun too and something I often forget!! But it turns out my recent purchase of a zebra print belt was very much needed! x
such a good point!
I love this article, Anna! I find myself purchasing items for a fantasy life ALL THE TIME.
"Oh I'm going on vacation to Hawaii for a week? Better buy 7 chic linen looks or slinky dresses when I know I'm probably just going to be wearing shorts and a tshirt the whole time and maybe 1 dress".
I think it's because our dreams are addictive and it feels NICE to imagine ourselves as the best sun-tanned versions of ourselves possible. My "shorts and a tshirt" reality can feel sad, but I'm starting to reframe my mental conversation around it. Instead of feeling sad that I probably won't want to wear silk dresses every night, I'm saying - what will I actually wear and what is the best version of that I can find? So if it's going to be shorts, a few tshirts, and a dress - what is the best version of those that will fit my actual REAL lifestyle?
I also find that it's hard to sell things you bought for your fantasy life that were expensive. I recently shared a post about how I sold the dreamiest wool coat from Theory because I just never wore it (linked here: https://costperfit.substack.com/p/cost-per-fit-wardrobe-learnings). It felt bad to "lose" money on something but I've learned my lesson and hopefully I can make better decisions from now on.
Oh my gosh THIS!! 'What will I actually wear and what is the best version of that I can find?' - that's the secret sauce right there that makes us feel our best. Thanks for commenting - so glad I've just found your Substack! x
100%!! Thank you for the kind note!
Very rarely comment on articles but I really like this, I’ve been a fashion “lover” for as long as I can remember I’ve been buying vogue, Elle etc since my early teens but there was always the feeling there that while you may take the odd idea or buy something you’ve seen I was an outside observing these ever changing trends and that was fine. I think with the rise of influencers etc people feel the need to constantly be buying new things, being different (but still being very on trend etc) it means I personally look at my wardrobe and think it’s never good enough when in reality I spend a lot of time working from home, with my young kids and 99% of what I see and then buy sits there hardly worn. I’ve been really mindful of this recently and I think actually looking at the data and understanding what I should be buying based on my actual life is 100% the way to look at things. I think the second part is also looking at what you feel best in. A lot of the time what looks great on someone else just doesn’t work for my body shape and then I feel bad about that too. I think there is a lot to be said about the influencer culture we have now and I think it’s great you’re asking these provocative questions. It’s one of the reasons I will happily pay for your content.
Thank you so much for your comment Heidi! Totally agree - wearing what you feel best in is the secret sauce that pulls it all together xx
I have a serious obsession with pants and when trying to decide whether to purchase, picture myself wearing them out to dinner. I do in fact wear the pants I've collected over the years but nobody sees them! They're always under a table and the same, obviously, can be said for shoes. So how many pairs of "dinner pants" does one girl need? If I were constantly going to parties and standing around, I might be able to justify these purchases, but this is decidedly not the case.
Same same same!
Also does anyone have any recommendations for what I can wear at home (when WFH) to be comfy but not lazy? I’ve seen the arket sweatpants set but can’t get it here in Canada! I’m curvy and find it so hard to find something that doesn’t dig in to my stomach 😂
Emily I'll make a post for you!! Just added it to my list x
Oooh thanks Anna, I can’t wait to read!
I recommend buying pants that hit where your waist is smallest and only buy elastic waist pants (not leggings because of potential compression). My actual middle waist is smallest so I try to find high-waisted soft joggers from Aritzia or Lululemon.
Oh, I will check this out. Thank you
Can you get dharma bums? Ive just discovered them and am glad i did.
I’ll check it out. Thank you
BIG YES. One of my recent ahas. I love buying really interesting designer-driven pieces. And so buying "basics" has always been like a chore that I sort of just get through as cheaply has possible. What I realized, though, is that I'm in "basics" 99.5 percent of the time with a teeny seasoning of those wild wows. So I want to love the basics! Now I've shifted this completely. I'm investing in high utility pieces I love and will wear and rewear. Things like a secondhand Loro Piana cashmere crewneck. Not the shiny objects - literally or figuratively.
A secondhand Loro Piana cashmere crewneck sounds like a DREAM! x
Anna, I loved your point about the disconnect that can happen between the mood board and real life. I’ll look at my Pinterest summer outfits board, for example, and love it but also they’re basically the wardrobe of a person summering on the Amalfi coast, which sadly, isn’t me! I think there’s something emotional going on here too: there’s something about the fantasy life that does call to us and buying the article of clothing feels like a way to access what we’re yearning for. The emotional part makes it hard to resist!
Totally feel you on the Amalfi coast Pinterest-vibe - I'm the same! When actually the closest I get is a trip to the local pier! x
Love this. Instead of finding clothes that will fit every scenario, actually have a closet to fit where you spend your time.
Great job Anna! For more resources on this, I love Hannah Louise Poston’s video that walks through a similar exercise: https://youtu.be/arVVrJn7rss?si=eCtpmCI9TftlQnWy
Oh my gosh this video looks like exactly what I need! Going to watch it tonight! x
Such a timely read for me - thank you!! I’ve just started reading Alison’s ‘Wear It Well’, which has been very helpful for me beginning to overhaul my wardrobe. I work on a farm and live in a small country town yet about 50% of my wardrobe is dressy, formal clothing… that I realistically only get a chance to wear maybe 10% of the time, if that. Completely agree that we often buy for the life we wish we had.. not necessarily the one we’re currently living. But I think this can also be encouraging in some ways in inspiring us to find what feels most authentic to us. And the more we embody that through our clothing the more it can often become a reality. Great read x
Thank you Bee! And enjoy the book - it's such a great read! x
Saving this to come back to when I have more time to work through the steps. Thank you for sharing!
Thank you Holly! x
This a very timely read, I realised I do this a lot, buying things for a life I don’t really lead. Mostly going out nice tops when I rarely go out (and I don’t even want to go out much 😂). I’m trying to challenge myself to wear these items in an every day way now and be much more mindful if I do get tempted by a ‘going out’ top that they have to have a dress way down ability too.
It's so true, I think I've maxed out on work clothes (academic so nothing formal), with the exception of the ever elusive cropped black jumper to work with higher waisted skirts and trousers. I'm in work or in work related meetings 2x a week max, so probably only need 4-5 work outfits. But when I'm WFH, I need clothes that are comfortable for sitting at my desk AND cycling, which really means leggings, soft pants, etc.
Shoes are my nemesis. My one pair of smart winter shoes are in for repair and I'm afraid Timpsons has lost/damaged them. I've been doing a not very elegant switcheroo in front of buildings/in lobbies from my duck boots to a pair of ballet flats.
Oh I feel you on the winter shoes! The cobbler has one of my favourite pairs at the moment and I'm feeling lost without them. Fingers crossed your ones aren't lost! x
what is this tan long shirt jacket thing in the first image? I love it!! this was something I realized about myself - I really only wear black and if i’m on a beach vacation maybeee throw in a little color but I always gravitated towards black so just decided I was only allowed to buy black besides a couple of sporadic vacation items - I love it!
It's a secondhand Jaeger jacket - I found it on Curate & Rotate! x